Many of us, in our day to day lives, are rarely in a position where we can afford to take risks, whether they are of the financial or personal kind. Many more of us are fortunate that we have in our lives some semblance of security and happiness and no longer feel the need to take risks. I can remember a time when that was not the case…
Let’s take the first of what I hope will be many trips in the Duffy time machine. Back to the fall of 1976.
We were fresh off of the Bicentennial. My girlfriend of 18 months, Diann, had recently dumped me. Actually I think her entire family took a vote and they excommunicated me by committee.
I was starting my junior year at West Catholic High School and had just come from the movies, having see, “Gator” with Burt Reynolds. And I realized then and there what I wanted to do with the rest of my life…I wanted to be a Hollywood Stuntman!
Do any of you remember that old footage of the Mike Douglas show where a 2 year old Tiger Woods was hitting a golf ball with his father at his side? Well, probably from the age of two I had been getting punched, kicked and thrown down stairs by my brothers, not to mention the calamity of dodging erasers and, “Persuaders” at school. It was something I was born to do. Why not get paid for it?
I formulated a plan to spend the next two years earning (and yes, stealing) whatever money I could from my job at Love Pharmacy, buy a crappy car, (actually a step up for my family), and hit the road west immediately after graduation in 1978.
Graduation Day came. I had zero dollars in the bank and I was still driving my mom’s Plymouth Fury III. What the hell happened? My back up plan? I ended up taking a job at a local insurance claim office in Upper Darby, as a file clerk, making the impressive sum of $95 per week (that’s gross, not net). Yes, that was GROSS.
So, who did I have to blame for failing to reach my goal?
My parents? Easy choice. Dad was MIA during many of those years. I remember tracking him down and telling him about my plans. His response was to ask if he could borrow $20. And that if I went through with the plan, could he come and be my wing man.
Mom’s response was a bit kinder. She transitioned from deep snore to half-awake grumbling, asking if I would be a good boy and run down to the corner market and pick up a pack of Pall Malls.
My friends? Hmmm…after all, when I approached them after graduation and demanded they give me all of their graduation money to kick start my dream they all turned me down flat. The ingrates. Little did they realize then was a smart investment it would have been in order to get rid of me for the next forty years. Tommy did offer me his 10 speed but it only got me as far as West Chester.
I suppose the upside is that job in the claims department got me my start in a profession that has sustained me for 40 years and helped me raise a family.
And anyway, I continue to watch movies, so there’s that.
But every time I see a guy being thrown through a plate glass window, every time I see a guy fall off of a tall building, or get run over by a bus, my eyes well up and I think, that could have been me!
Time to get back to work. Where’s my next claim file?….DENIED!
Trapped in a Happy Life 