I’m sure everyone has been through this. You’re walking through a bookstore (you remember those, right) and you come across the “self help” aisle. You look at the titles and think, “No way, not for me”. Buying one of those and checking out would be the equivalent of buying condoms at CVS when you were 17. Okay 18…okay, 25!!!
In early 2001 I was going through a crisis in my life. Forty years old, personal relationships in crisis , infrastructure crumbling. Of course, I went to therapy. That was truly a lifesaver. But like people who only have Medicare, I needed a supplement. Enter, “The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo.
Sure, the entire book was not for me. But enough of it opened my eyes to so many things going on in my life that were right in front of my eyes and yet, I could not see. Sometimes it is not enough that the people closest to us tell us what they see wrong. We need an outside opinion. And quite often, this opinion comes from the most unlikely of sources.
I tried a few other books as well, such as, “The Four Agreements”. Many of them were helpful in their own way. But, “The Book of Awakening” has become my bible so to speak. I keep it right in my nightstand drawer. If I’ve had a day of conflict or of issue, I pull it out and read a few passages. It’s sort of like a GPS. Even though there are a few detours it always seems to get me back on track.
One of the things I’ve found in my adult life is that so many of us avoid therapy, or even non-traditional help because we feel there is a stigma attached to it. “There must be something wrong with him”. I hate to reveal the great secret, but there is something wrong with every one of us. In my opinion, someone who goes through their entire life without assistance is not well at all, they are simply ignoring something that can open their eyes and their hearts.
Many of us don’t go to the doctors until something is wrong…or until that thing in our scrotum has grown to the size of a lemon. Or we don’t venture into the dentist office until the pain in our mouth is so bad we can’t breathe without having to sit down. But for many more of us we do the right thing…checkups. How many times have you heard, “Found it during a checkup and we were able to treat it in time”. Preventive care. We do it with our bodies, with our bridges, why not the mind and the soul?
Mental and emotional health is exactly the same thing. Even more important. Checking in with our selves, or our spouses is not the only answer. If you were diagnosed with a sprained ankle and a doctor told you a brace would help, you’d wear it, right? Right? Ease the pain, provide support.
Think of those terms…ease the pain…provide support. Same thing, different affliction.
There is no doubt we all carry a load under the surface. If you live in today’s world and you don’t, well, you are truly ahead of the game. For the majority of us, it’s time for a checkup.
No one is saying you’re going to crack and rip up the linen department at Bed, Bath and Beyond. But if you did cleanup would be, well, very close by. But don’t ignore the signs. Don’t deny yourself assistance. You deserve it. And your family deserves it.
Therapy and self help are nothing to be ashamed of. I was in therapy nearly fifteen years and it made me a better person and helped enhance my life. Don’t buy into the critics…”There’s nothing wrong with you…have another donut”.
If you don’t have the courage to start therapy, venture into Barnes and Noble and take a good look around. And hurry, before they, like a lot of retail, becomes a thing of the past.
Trapped in a Happy Life 