State by State…

We are back after a week off with more of the USA Today State by State blurbs.  Here are some of the most interesting.

FORT DODGE, IOWA:  A man says his dog inadvertently shot him in the leg after disabling the safety and stepping on the trigger.  

So, guns don’t kill people.  Dogs with guns kill people.

WAVELAND, INDIANA:  Authorities seized more than 750 birds in a raid of two suspected cockfighting rings.

The proper punishment for these criminals.  HoUse them in a dirt floor ring with glass walls in the middle of their Main Street, have them strip naked and force them to engage in their own brand of cock fighting.

ORONO, MAINE:  The University of Maine has brought in goats as stress relievers for students during finals.

Fast forward 10 years later.  Maine graduate John Spencer has a big board meeting with stockholders and brings in his pet Billy Goat, Sam, to get him through the difficult presentation.  Unfortunately, Sam urinates on the pie chart and chews up the carpeting before he can finish.  John is fired but survives on goat meat for the next 2 weeks until he finds another job.

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH:  The Mormon church warns of “serious adverse consequences” if the State’s medical marijuana initiative passes.

Sure, pray away the agonizing pain of cancer and debilitating illness’ instead of be offered some sort of relief.  Even if it was God that made you sick in the first place.

NEWPORT NEWS, VIRGINIA:  A white hotel clerk has been fired after he was caught on video calling a black customer a monkey.

More uplifting news from a State, that for the most part, is still living in the 1800’s.  I’m not sure where we can banish people like this.  Perhaps we can create a state just for the human wretches of the world.  This fool can lead the way.

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY:  A car crashed into a Denny’s, sending 10 people to the hospital.

Five as a direct result of the crash, and another five for food poisoning.

EASTOVER, SOUTH CAROLINA:  Two men got into an argument over the weekend at a family gathering and killed each other with gunfire.

It seems now we’ll never know how the debate of, “Eggs in the potato salad” or “No eggs in the potato salad” will ever be resolved.

More to follow…